Diet Schmiet

It's over three months since I have blogged! (Is "to blog" a verb?)



I decided to take a break from it as I was running out of things to say. Surely there are only so many crises you can publicly declare on the road to Slimville before you think to your self.... "oh just shut your mouth! that way you'll stop talking AND eating --- problem solved!"



This blog has been very theraputic. And it has helped me to understand and communicate my obsssion with food. And i think that obsession is fianlly waining.



So I am going to end this blog and start a new more general one.



It will be about food sometimes but will just be my thoughts on life, God, me and any other subject that catches my attention.

I hope you'll read my next one too. http://auntyamo.blogspot.com/

Thank you all for reading and commenting, A xx

Is mise a mess

Hi all

I've been hiding from you I'm afraid.

I've attempted to write a few times over the last few weeks but have found I have nothing to say. (Who'd have thought it!!!)

I suppose I'm a bit of a fair weather blogger. I find it hard to write when I'm down in the dumps. All I do is talk about being down in the dumps, why I'm down in the dumps, how long I've been down in the dumps, the state of the dumps... and even IF you're happy to read it, I'm not too fussed on writing it!

My state now??? Well I suppose you could call me "up in the dumps".

I'm a bit more upbeat, and ready to tackle the food thing again.

Over the last few weeks the WW situation has been all over the place. At worse up 5; at best down 5 and everything in between. But I must remember that I am still down by more than 2.5 stone and this is a life long journey. So a few wobbly weeks (if you'll excuse the expression) can be dealt with...

So, what do to... I suppose I should think about it. I'll make a big mug of coffee and have some... ah ah ahhhhh NO! Naughty Amo! Smack botty!!!

Some leave and comment and tell me it'll all be ok!! Pleeeeeeease

xx

!!Warning! Slimmer Gone AWOL! Warning!!

Ah you found me...

I'm sorry I've been on the missing list. It has been a busy time for me and with Lent over there's SO much chocolate to catch up on.... :)

So what little morsel can I share with you today then?

Well I suppose I could confess my non-WW behaviour this week. I have had to consign this week's dieting to the flames as the stress/sweets levels have risen to high tide I'm afraid. 

I'm handing in the final paper of my degree this week and it has driven me to the biscuit barrell on more than one occasion. (oh btw Café Noir half a point each.... nice!) But this week is once again a sign of how my thinking rules my eating. 

I had to work last weekend, my dad was sick Sunday and Monday, I'm trying to write the conclusion for this paper that I now offcially cannot stand and Lent is over. I mean COME ON -- how is a girl my size supposed to fit all that in aswell. 

I have learned that I need to keep room in my brain for the subject of dieting. The nearer I got to my college dead line, the bigger it got on the horizon. Everything else started to get squeezed out (if you'll excuse the expression!). 

As someone who is used to not having enough space no matter where I am, you'd think that I'd have worked out the finite ability to concentrate on things. God gets squeezed out sometimes too. As a theology student I should remember not to forget Him. He should be on the horizon all the time. Not dieting, studies, work, chocolate... I am grateful to Him for His patience with me. 

Oh one more thing before I go... there was a sign on the door of my WW class last week. 

"In future could the WW class please use the large double doors at the back of the hall!"

"Go on", I thought, "rub it in why don't you!!!" 

It's my birthday and I'll eat if I want to...

Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me -eeeeeeee
Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Did I mention it's my birthday. Yes I have reached another year. I am now 37 and can't believe I just tryped that!!

But there's double prizes today. It's my birthday (did i say?) and it's Thursday... weigh in day.

Now my Thursday regimen is probably the wrong thing to do but as I'm 2 1/2 lb away from 3 stone down I reckon I must be doing something right!

On Thursdays (after weigh in) I have what ever I want and I don't count the points.

I can hear the sharp intake of the breath, the muffled screams and the disapproving tutting of the 2.7 people who read this blog. (so you all must be very busy making noises) But that is my Thursday thing. And today woo hoo the ol birthday and all that, did I say...

You know the old adage.... Have breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper. Well i use a similar system to that on a weekly basis. Thursday I eat like a woman possessed, Fri, Sat and Sun I don't, Mon, Tues, Wed I hem it all in waitin' like a woman possessed for Thursday to come so I can eat like a woman possessed.

As you can see, the weight is reducing but the addiction to food is not waining. You see I am like an alcoholic. But I can't go cold turkey. (Actually I could go a cold turkey sandwich if you have one handy) I can't not eat anything... ever... so I have to wrestle with and try to tame my eating habits.

But not today.

cos today is Thursday

and today is my birthday.... did I mention?

Lá Fhéile Padraig... (oh great, I can break my Lenten fast today!)

Did you know that?

Did you know the unwritten rule about breaking your Lenten fast on St. Patrick's Day?

Well I did! (I mean I did know, not that I did break my fast.... not yet anyway!)

As a kid, Paddy's Day was great cos you got a day off AND you got to eat chocolate, which is usually what I gave up as a kid. 

Having parents who worked in a chocolate factory didn't help!!!

But to be honest I haven't been great this week anyway. I have eaten a lot! But don't worry -- I have plenty of great excuses, I mean reasons!

1. My back is killing me!

I am in a lot of pain this week with my back. I have osteoporosis (sp?) and it gives me trouble every so often. So obviously... I have to eat more. 

2. It's my mam's anniversary this week!

Yesterday marked the 4th anniversary of my mam's sad goodbye. I remember the days leading up to her death very well and I've been a bit gloomy. So obviously... I have to eat more.

3. I'm not sleeping very well. Probably to do with the reasons above. But I'm having all sorts of wacky dreams and waking in the middle of the night. So obviously... I have to eat more.

4. It's Paddy's Day. So obviously.... 

Can you see a pattern forming here???

It is so easy to get back in to my old way of thinking and acting. And my excuses are fairly reasonable (ok except for no. 4), but who could blame me if I ate all of the 12 iced buns in front of me. (I kid you not -- there are 12 iced buns in front of me...) But I won't. 

I'll eat my dinner. And maybe have a snack at supper time. 

I'll go to bed and get up tomorrow morning and start afresh. 

I've always loved Paddy's Day but it can play havoc with your Lenten fast... if you let it!

Is there any point in no-point soup?

I have recently started to make soup again. Now this might not sound like a drastic development but you must understand that I had a serious aversion to soup for many years.



My mammy, who has been gone almost four years now, used to make 0 point soup for me when I was on WW the first time. (This is my third time in case I never mentioned it!) I ate the soup every day for weeks and weeks. Mammy would make a huge pot of if and freeze portions of it in little suitable for freezer containers. Then the next day make another huge pot of it and... so on. I got to the stage where the sight of it made me feel suddenly full! But bless her, she just kept making it.

One time when I think she sussed I was getting a bit fed up, she asked me what my favourite veg was and she would make some soup for me. At the time it was mushrooms. So she bough a 4 stone bag of mushrooms and off she went....

We ended up with pot fuls of black soup!
It was black with little white flecks.
It went into the freezer for a few weeks and then down the sink.

I didn't want to look at soup for years after that. The thoughts of it made me gag!

But a couple work mates who are soup fans/fiends have restored my faith in soup (thanks DF and SM); and recently the 0 point soup is back on the menu.

And it's lovely... Let me share some of my recipes...

I've made carrot, parsnip and celery soup.
Parsnip, carrot and red onion
Carrott, red onion, parnisp and celery
Parsnip, celery, carrott, red onion and some extra carrot
And my favourite has to be carrot, extra carrot, parsnip, celery, red onion and extra parsnip


I can sense that I'm going to have to buy some suitable for freezer containers if I'm not careful.

But at least my soup isn't black with white flecks.

There's definitely NO POINT in black soup!!!

I feel like giving up...

Panic not of faithful blog readers (all 2.7 of you) I'm not throwing in the towel on the old WW.

It's Lent and time to think about what not to have for the next few weeks and therefore what I'll be thinking about for the next few weeks.

I did consider giving up Facebook for Lent. If you're looking for me you'll usually find me there. Playing Scrabble with my sister, my husband and numerous others. I also am very taken with the oul' Tetris which is my favourite ever computer gave. Never mind your Clara Loft and her Room Trader (is that a house makeover game?), Resident Divils and Sure that's a Grand Automobile, let's nick it. Give me a good game of Tetris any day.

In fact EVERY day.

Hence I didn't give up Facebook :)


I also considered giving up telly. But I don't watch that much of it these days. I'm doing a lot of studying lately and at the end of some evenings me and diddums usually watch one or two episodes of British comedies we love; Yes Prime Minister or Vicar of Dibley etc.
Those TV moments are essential for marital haromony; it wouldn't be right to give them up.

So I went for the old faithful and traditional deprivation. Chocolate.

I have a problem will power wise when I give up stuff for Lent. Even though I've been doing it all my life and as a kid I just knew it was important to do (tho' I didn't know why). Now when I get a craving or just fancy some choc I remember that it's to remind me, albeit in a very small way, of the sacrifice of Christ.

The big problem I have is I forget!!! I ordered hot choclate on Friday and had to swap with one of the girls I was with as she has ordered coffee. The on Friday evening I was babysitting and had a choclate digi with my coffee. An hour later I remembered I was off choc for Lent!!!!

Thankfully God knows me and my weaknesses, whether they be will power or crumbling brain power.

I'm hoping it will sharpen up my thoughts on food generally as the last few weeks have seen me veer slightly from my chartered course. It's a shame that WW isn't like AA. Maybe it is.

OK here goes....

Hi my name is Annmarie and I am a foodaholic!


I can hear your response you know.... "Oh Annmarie, just GIVE IT UP will you!?!"

Shoddy workmanship? Don't blame your tools!

The phrase user error or operator inaccuracy can be used about me -- a lot!

I have an ongoing argument with our I.T. guy in work. I say that the programme we use does not do all that we need it to do to look after our supporters properly; he says I just don't know how to use it properly... operator inaccuracy!

And if I go mad cos the printer's not printing or my guitar sounds awful, or my phone is acting up, I usually find that I haven't actually clicked 'print', the guitar is out of tune and my phone is on silent... user error!

I have all the tools I need to lose weight, to eat heallthily etc. I have trackers old and new, WW recipes, a points calculator, 3 sisters and numerous nieces and nephews that are also watching their weight, a supportive husband, and I even have a list of people who pray for me on a regular basis about this subject.

If WW was one of those collecters magazines with 12 weekly parts and a free something with each one to build up a compelete collection of... somethings, well I'd have the full set. The whole kit and kaboodle!!!

I mean holy laughing cow light! I should be 2 stone 5 pounds at this stage!!!

But... operator inaccuracy and user error, my old friends are always hanging around looking for a coffee and a chat (and a cream cake!)

And I'm afraid I have no answers to this mystery. Why, when I have all the tools I need I'm still not getting the job done?

And I can't even blame the instructions.

1. Eat less

2. Move more.

They're kind of 'IKEAesque' in their style aren't they. Just two sentences.

OK so diet instructions are easier to understand.

But they're just as hard to follow!!!

Sitting out the doldrums in patience and hope

The other day I spent ages writing a post to go some way to explaining my absence over the past couple of weeks and my computer crashed and the whole thing disappeared. arrgghhh

I'll try to remember what I said but sometimes I don't think about what I am going to write, I just pause, close my eyes and start typing what ever is in my head. Of course there is some editing required as you can imagine....

Anyway, it went something like this...




It seems as if the honeymoon is over with me and my WW tracker. I'm not diving into the handbag anymore to find the tracker and add that half a point from the sugar I put on my coffee -- before I even put it in. I'm not working our the points of anything that has a label on it. And even the new style tracker from WW is just annoying and a faff to fold.

Any ridiculous excuse not to fill it in really.

It was inevitableI suppose. Have you seen that add where the girl and guy are sitting on the sofa getting amorous and she goes off to slip into something more comfortable, but when she comes down stairs a lot of time has passed, she has wax strips on her lip and complains that he left windows open upstairs and now it's freezing. The strap line is something like, "Things can change in an instant."

I feel a bit like that now. I'm a bit bored with this dieting thing. I'm fed up eating pitta bread and houmous. I'm not sure where the excitement went. I can feel and see a difference, others can see it too. But the day to day 'execution' (good word) of the plan is tedious now.

Now I come to something that I didn't write the other day. It was pointed out to me last night. (Thanks JL). I have lost sight of the reason why I started. It has become about the WW programme and not about the call of God to address my issues with food. It should be about His desire that I take care of this temple that he dwells in so that I can serve him better. Not only that, but also so that I totally to rely on him and not food for my comfort and filling.

I have a card on my desk. It has little positive sayings on it. The purpose of it is to remind me to say positive and affirming things to my husband. (I got it at a marriage seminar I went to last week -- excellent... but I digress...) One of the sayings on it is "You can do it!" And I think that I need to say it to myself too. I can do it. I CAN DO IT! I think so; my hubby thinks so and God thinks so.

Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength"

So let's get back on tracker...

You knew there'd be a pun didn't you :)

The colder I get the hungrier I get... what's THAT about?

Ok it's no suprise to you that I want to eat. If you've been reading this blog for more than a nano second you'll have got that. But this cold spell is really playing havoc with my determination NOT to eat too much.

I'm SO hungry.

I don't just want food, I want MORE food, no twice that much, NO ALL OF IT, I WANT IT ALL! IT'S ALL MIIIIIIIINE (evil laughter etc....)

OK, phew! Glad I got that out of my system.

It's been a while since I ate while I was cooking. It was a terrible habit of mine. While the dinner was on I would eat a sandwich. I could not, no... would not, wait until the food was ready. I had to eat NOW.

And I have worked hard to get out of that habit and go back to enjoying the cooking experience and being ready for the meal when its ready.

I'm putting it down to the cold and it might not be it. But if it isn't then it's a big coincidence. The cold spell has had me heading for the fridge - big style. In fact last week I had dinner on, while the dinner was on I made a sandwich and while I was making the sandwich, I WAS EATING THE MEAT!! OUT OF CONTROL OR WHAT!!!

But I suppose the fact that I recognised it is a good thing.

I had to stay home from work yesteday cos of the weather. I stayed in my 'judith chalmers' and worked on some college stuff.
I was very strict with myself. I had a good brekkie. and left the kitchen straight away. Then I was determined to wait til 1 for lunch. I didn't do too bad. I tried to sneak out of the bedroom without seeing myself at about 12.30. I caught my self at the bottom step and after a good telling off (and some worried looks from people walking by the house) I had my lunch and went back upstairs.

It has been hard work; and I can sense the old habits trying to catch hold of me again. But like I said, I am aware of it. And scary as it is, it is certainly more empowering!!

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 says this...

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

Now don't misunderstand me, or that scripture. This is not about flagellation or deprivation. It is about discipline and control. Something I have lacked for a long time. The Bible also says that 'all thinga are permissable but not all things are beneficial". So yeah I can have what I like. But some of the time what I'd really like won't benefit me.

Ohhhhhhh it's suddenly gotten cold in here. Any one got anything warm I can borrow?

Like hot fudge Sundae...

Can you say "Low Fat Cheese" and still smile?

I've always been a Dairy Queen :)
I used to drink a pint of milk with my dinner every day.

Now that I have Osteoporosis, dairy products are very important to keep in my diet. So it's a good thing that I like cheese, milk, yougurt etc.

Problem is that cheese is very high in points. I don't mind skimmed milk, and you can get really nice low fat yogs, dessert rice and stuff like that; but the cheese is a problem.

Mainly cos low fat cheese, including WW's own brand cheese has the texture of the sole of a Nike runner. And doesn't taste much better.

Personally I don't like the idea of eating something that you can drop only to find it boing-ing its way back up to meet you!! I mean when you bend cheese it should break or at the very least crumble; not re-shape itself like a like one of those old Stretch Armstrong dolls!

Well I have found the answer. Given to me by my mate Claire. Thanks Mrs.

Dubliner Light!

It's tasty

It's low fat

And it doesn't bend

Never again shall I have to eat toasted ham and grated ping-pong ball sandwiches.

Now that makes me smile!

The recession has hit. My assets are down 10%!!!

Can you believe it!?

I have lost 10% of my body weight. 

www.weightwatchers.com say that the following are benefits of losing 10% of your body weight...

A Healthier Heart

Lower Risk of Type 2 Diabetes

More Pep

A Mental Edge

Reality Check

I certainly do feel different. And as I mentioned before I know I look different. But it is a bit startling to think that 4 or 5 months ago I was more likely to die than I am now. But that's probably more to do with the fact that my car was overdue a service than anything else. 

So you'll just have to put up with 90% of me. I won't be quite so dazzling, I might not be around as often cos there's less of me to go around and at times you might read this and think.... there really is something missing... but as I reduce in plumage I hope to increase in years. 

Swings and roundabouts eh?

I tell you something though... when I try on some of the stuff that is still too small for me, I still feel the pinch! Bring on the recession I say, I'm looking forward to a futher drop in my.... portfolio!

Even better on the inside...

People are starting to notice... and they're starting to say things.

It's true I am getting smaller. Even the new jeans I bought not so long ago are starting to slouch a bit. Although that could washing machine operator error!!

It's a weird feeling cos it's nice that people see it, and it's nice to know they can see it but I'd am a bit "scarleh" when they say it. And there's always the background dread of it being even MORE noticable when it goes back on.

Until now...

I am sticking my neck out here (although one 2.6 people read this anyway -- one of them is VERY small!) but I think this is it! I think that just maybe I have cracked this thing. This weight/eating/diet/hope/fear/food/madness circle I go around in seems to finally be slowing down.

Now I don't mean that I'll never put on weight again, or that I'll never struggle with it again, OR that I'll get to the official Weight Watchers target for me. (Which by the way would mean I'd need to be tied to one of those sparkly weights that keep helium balloons from floating off up to the rafters; or else I'd have to be shot down with a pellet gun or something.)

However good, or even just different, I look -- it's even better on the inside. I think that is the difference this time. The change is an inner one! For me it's been more than just 'getting into the zone' it's been about a change of heart.

I wonder will people see the difference on the inside? I wonder will I start to get comments like... You sound well, you seem better, you are stronger! For now it's enough to know it myself; we'll just have to see as time goes on who notices what...

All I'll say is that if ever you find my jeans in a heap on the floor.... don't look up at the rafters!

Sorry about the picture

What is the story with the monster sized picture?!

I'm supposed to be getting smaller for goodness sake!

Muchas apolagosers for that one. Not sure how to change it to a smaller one. 

I thought you might like to see my whole face... but not in cinema screen panaormaic view. 

Please don't count the lines on my face while you're operating heavy machinery cos you WILL fall asleep. 

More soon x

Back on tracker!

ohhh it's hard to get back into it!

There are still remnants of the Christmas fare hanging around the place. Not least my Dad's large time of mini Toblerone's which he INSISTS on leaving on the sofa with the lid off it. I mean COME ON!!!! How is anyone supposed to resist those.

Even though I went back to WW last Thursday (up 4.5 btw -- ouch!) I feel today is the first day back properly. There was a bit too much convenience food happening over the weekend. What with that and everlasting-toblerones -- I have a lots of jogging on the spot to do by Thursday.

But I do feel better to be back into the routine. Filling in the tracker is definitely a good discipline. Filling it in helps me remember what I have eaten and how many points. And it forces me to work out the points of what I'm not sure of. If I don't track I wildly guess what I don't know; and then forget it anyway.

I hide mine in the depths of my bag but I know someone who pins it on the front of her kitchen presses -- for all to see. What if she gets burgled or something? How awful would it be to come down the stairs in the morning to find a note on your tracker telling you you've been counting Pink and White wafers as 1/2 and they should be 1 and your HD ready, 48" flat screen telly gone.

I'd be devastated!!

I love Pink and Whites!!

Weigh too much??

Well tomorrow is D Day or WW Day actually. And where as on Dec 30th I was doing ok.... I went to see the inlaws in Wales on Jan 2nd and came back yesterday and it wasn't only the luggage that was stretching at the seams...

I wonder how going easy on yourself cause it's Christmas turns to... What the heck, it's only a couple of tins of Quality Street -- I can work that off trying to do the Times crossword tomorrow!

I did walk a lot though. I'm hoping that will have limited some of the damage. We went to Oxford for the day to see my nephews and niece. My neff who lives there took us on a tour of all the colleges and we had a look in one of the chapels and spotted a few familiar scenes from Morse episodes. It was a great day. And the dinner that evening wasn't bad either.

But I think the best thing about this time 'round is that I am ready to start again. I don't care what that scales says tomorrow. I can't wait to get on it and put Christmas eating behind me and get going again. It is a real sign of a change of heart for me on the subjest. Usually I'd be dreading it but no matter what has happened I'm moving forward.

Philipians 3 says

But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal...

This is a spiritual scripture and was written specifically to do with life in Christ and continuing the journey no matter what. But as with a lot of God's principles, I can apply it to other areas of life and I hope in 2009 to apply it to the area of my weight watching.