It's quite strange to be blogging away here and no one taking very much notice of me. Except you Rich. I know you always read my ramblings (if only to make sure your wife hasn't completely lost it! -- ooppps too late!)
But what's on my heart tonight is not about food. Well not earthly food. Although I've just had coffee with a cinnamon and raisin bagel and some real butter. What a treat!
Anyway; today has been a fab day at church. I was really inspired by our guest speaker Clive Johnson. He was fantastic!! And as rich and me are seeking God for His plan for us and sensing some sort of call on our lives, this guy makes me want to get to know the heartbeat of God as well as I know my own.
For a few years now I have had this desire to speak. (shocked? I thought not,,,) When I worked in Care for the Family I loved going out on the road to work at seminars and events and would have loved to be up the front saying cool stuff. Lots of pride in there I know, but as I have changed over the last year that desire is still there but it has changed too.
I have a longing to encourage, to share the story of my stormy, pain filled, amazing walk with God. I want to tell anyone who needs to hear it... "You can make it, you can do this, it won't always be this bad, I know; cos I've been in the dark place and found the path out of it."
I want to encourage and inspire young people, especially girls, that they are treasure in God's sight, and worth far more love, affection, desire and passion than any teenage encounter will ever give them.
There are so many things I want to say. And as only 1 or 2 people read this blog I guess I'll have to pray about other ways of telling my story.
The other thing that has happened lately is a change in my singing. Well, actually a change in my attitude to my singing. I had this funny feeling after singing a few weeks ago. Didn't know what it was but it was nice. It happened a couple of times and I probably should have prayed about it but didn't.
I went into my boss's office a couple of weeks ago and he has a picture of Eric Lidell on his window ledge. I have seen it loads of times but I picked it up that day and read what was underneath it. It was the (seemingly) famous quote of his. When he runs he feels God's pleasure. I stopped in my tracks. THAT WAS IT. THAT WAS THE FEELING God's pleasure.
I couldn't believe it. I mean I can sing, I know that. But I'm no Kiri Te Kanawa by any means. But sometimes He's deligted to hear me sing and sometimes lets me know.
And it happended again this evening. What a feeling it is. I am so unworthy of His love, it's amazing.
My precious Father, help me abide in you and abide in me that I may be better at serving you. I love you Lord!